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Friday, September 14, 2012

Mangled Macbeth, Act 2


Mangled Macbeth
Written by William Shakespeare.  Abridged, translated, and slightly mangled by Melinda Brasher.

Act 2 Scene 1

MACBETH:  Is this really a dagger in my hand?  Is there blood on it yet?  The world has truly gone crazy.  Well, I suppose I should go kill the king.

Act 2 Scene 2

LADY MACBETH:  What's taking so long?  Why isn't the king dead yet?  If he didn't look so much like my father, I would have done it myself.
            Enter Macbeth, with bloody daggers
MACBETH:  It's done.  But I heard a voice crying, "Macbeth shall sleep no more."
LADY MACBETH:  For crying out loud, pull yourself together and wash your hands of his blood.  And why did you bring the daggers here?  Go smear the sleeping grooms with them. 
MACBETH:  I'm afraid to look at what I've done. 
LADY MACBETH:  Weakling!  I would be ashamed to have a heart so white and frail as yours.  Give me those daggers.  I'll do it.  Go put on your nightgown and go to bed.

Act 2 Scene 3

MACDUFF:  We sure had a wild night last night.  Is the king awake yet?
MACBETH:  No.
MACDUFF:  I'll go wake him.
            Exit Macduff
LENNOX:  We sure had a wild night last night.
MACBETH:  Yes, 'twas wild.
            Enter Macduff
MACDUFF:  Horror!  Horror!  Horror!  Most sacrilegious murder!
MACBETH:  What?
MACDUFF:  Approach the chamber and you will blind yourself with the hideous sight.  I cannot speak of it.  Murder and treason.  Oh, Lady Macbeth, 'tis not for a woman's ear to hear of this murder.
LADY MACBETH:  Woe!  Alas!  In our house?
BANQUO:  Say it isn't so!
MACBETH:  I wish I had died before I had to see this.
            Enter Malcolm and Donalbain, the king's sons
DONALBAIN:  What's wrong?
MACBETH:  You are, but you yet know not.  The spring and fountain of your blood is stopped.
DONALBAIN:  Dude, speak English.
MACDUFF:  Your father's murdered.
MALCOLM:  By whom?
LENNOX:  His grooms, it looks like.
MACBETH:  And woe, in my grief and loyalty I killed them.  I couldn’t stop myself.  I loved the king so much.
LADY MACBETH:  Help!  I faint!
MALCOLM [aside]:  Brother, let us flee, I to England, you to Ireland, before our father's murderer strikes again.
DONALBAIN:  Aye.  There are daggers in men's smiles.

Act 2 Scene 4

OLD MAN:  Dreadful things are afoot.  Strange omens foretold this.
ROSS:  Does anyone know who killed the king?
MACDUFF:  The grooms, we think, hired by someone.  Since the king's sons have fled, we suspect them.
ROSS:  A sin against nature!  I suppose, then, the crown will fall to Macbeth.
MACDUFF:  He's already gone to Scone to be crowned.



Click here for Mangled Macbeth Act III
To read from the beginning, click on Mangled Macbeth Act I
Also Check out "Shakespeare:  "Therein Lies the Confusion"

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